It was not a good weekend in downtown Lowell for fellas who couldn’t keep their zipper up.
Officers working “downtown disorder details,” extra patrols aimed at getting a grip on assaults and disorder downtown during the peak business hours for bars, ended up charging five different guys with indecent exposure over the course of just four hours early Saturday and Sunday mornings.
Here is where I’ll provide you with the list of folks who are accused of needing more potty training, and tell you the story of another guy who walked down Middle Street with his penis exposed even though a cop was right behind him.
Robert Latour, 33, of 9 Puffer Avenue in Lowell kicked things off early Saturday morning about 1:20 a.m., when he allegedly urinated within sight of an officer near the intersection of Merrimack and John Streets. Not exactly a secluded location to convene a meeting with nature.
It took about 25 minutes before Lowell Police allegedly spotted someone else.
Jeffrey Bachelder, 34, of 26 Otsego Avenue, in Lowell, was arrested and accused of urinating on a church. He was taken into custody at 1:46 a.m., after an officer allegedly saw him urinate on a door at St. Joseph the Worker Shrine on Lee Street.
The next arrest didn’t come until early Sunday morning, when Michael Conderman, 20, of Rochester, N.H., allegedly walked down Middle Street with his penis exposed. Police say three girls were walking in front of Conderman, and one of them turned around and noticed the exposure at 12:04 a.m.
A police officer was walking unnoticed behind Conderman at the time. That turned out well.
In addition to an indecent exposure charge, Conderman was also booked for lewd and lascivious behavior and carrying a false liquor id.
He “admitted to having a fake ID that he intended to use at one of the bars downtown,” said Capt. Kelly Richardson.
That’s when history started repeating itself.
It was 12:50 a.m. when police say Steven Leone, 24, of 15 Middlesex Drive, Littleton, took a leak within sight of Capt. Jack Webb, who happened to be in command of the entire police effort downtown. Leone was arrested at 65 Merrimack Street, which is maybe 20 or 30 yards from the intersection with John Street.
The last guy to make the list was Richard Smith, 26, of 98 Nancy Avenue in Dracut. Smith was allegedly seen urinating in a parking lot off Lee Street at 1:22 a.m.
I guess the good news is that no one was hurt.
If this trend continues, I’m going to start requesting mugshots of those booked for doing this.